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Popcorn Fish Guinea Pig

by Museum Mouth

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Museum Mouth is:
Karl Kuehn–drums, vocals, percussion, synth, guitar, noise, programming, office chair
Graham High–guitar, classical guitar, noise, spoken word
Kory Urban–bass, acoustic guitar, keyboards, noise, programming

All music by Kuehn, High, and Urban
All words by Karl Kuehn except tracks 1 and 9 by Kory Urban and Karl Kuehn, and track 6 by Kory Urban

This record was written from spring 2014 to summer 2015 when it was recorded in Graham's guest bathroom, Graham's hall closet, and in the bathroom at Gravity Records in Wilmington, NC.


released April 29, 2016

Recorded and Produced by: Karl Kuehn
Drum Recording and Engineer: Brett Scott
Edited by: Brett Scott
Mixed by: Kyle "Slick" Johnson
Mastered by: Bill Henderson



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Museum Mouth Wilmington, North Carolina

Or else you're fitting sad pegs in dead holes and then the kids are crying because the toys are all broke.


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Track Name: Bugeyed
if your world was someone else's
could you imagine the size of their wallet
if your world was someone else's
could you imagine how deep their pockets
so vast

that guys is so huge
he could drop a giant quill into a spill of milk
if he wanted you dead
he'd take you out with the garbage can
so don't worry about your fiction life

because everyone
is no one to someone else
burdened bug eyed
I'll send you flowers
I hope that helps
Track Name: Incubus Tattoo
they say you've got a big brain
I swear you use it just for evil thoughts
they say you've got a big heart
like I didn't know you back at the start
when we were nothing
but we were praying for an audience
before I'd written those songs
before you feigned my influence

sixteen months to clear your head
and make things right
still you're laying in your bed
eighteen hours a day
and you don't know why
how do you do it
how do you make me feel bad for you

so let me ask you a question
are you staying true
have you done half the cool things
we promised at fifteen we'd do
or did you gain too much traction
did you grow up and then grow through
my existence and our incubus tattoos

you took me like a vitamin
and redefined my past
I didn't realize that I was dealing
with a megalomaniac
I waited for a certain shade of green
but now I'm back
to heed you a warning
that this morning view has passed

so let me ask you a question
since you're not staying true
and haven't done half the cool things
we promised at fifteen we'd do
since you gained too much traction
since you grew up and then grew through
do you hate me for getting my incubus tattoo

I think we're better off
acquaintances than counterparts
Track Name: Riff from My Head
it dawned on me tonight
while laying in my bed
that I don't really think about you
lately you've been replaced
by this riff from my head
and the awful things
it makes me wanna do

I know it's hard to believe
cuz I was so caught up
and I was so obsessed with you
yeah you were my dream boy
my straight crush from hell
but this riff from my head
helped me to get well

now all the breakup songs
on scratched CDs I bought magically play
and I can go twenty-four hours plus
without picturing your face
I used to wanna ride my bike off a cliff
death was immanent
now I just wanna smash some shit
a vast improvement
Track Name: History's Mysteries
what if I told you
things didn't sit right by me
I wrote these words down in sanskrit
circa 1601 BC
harvest moon is a game
that also happens when
seasons change
I had a long talk with Emily
about how I want a family someday

unraveling history's mysteries
glossy blue eyes and
short hair all silvery

I met you once
but it wasn't the right time yet
I had just turned twenty
and the thought of you made me sweat
so I waited four years
for you to come find me here
but you never came
and now I'm regretting sadly
never whispering "daddy"
into those bear ears

I don't know why
wish I knew why
I'm realizing why
I'll always be "that guy"
Track Name: Failure's Hall of Fame
where do you go from love
how do sign your name
on the brick wall
in failure's hall of fame
there's no 401(k)
at your mom's house
just cheap champagne
where you christen the couch
your final resting place

I'll never stop
this sick obsession
with my evil thoughts
until I've done it all

you start revisiting all
your high school haunts
wax nostalgic
you haven't come far
you hide in your car
to avoid an old friend's mom
reassessing your life
where did I go wrong
you develop a crush on the mailman
you jerk off outside
because you can

I believe it's true
that we should never meet our heroes
and life's like a Monet
just squint your eyes
it gains six zeroes

I'll never stop
this sick obsession
with my evil thoughts
until I've done it all
until I hit the wall
until I finally fall
Track Name: Koopa Breeders
I love a lot of people
but I don't think about
how much I love them
until I think about
living without them

you staring at me
I don't know where you stand in my head
I just know where we stand in this room
and maybe I love you
Track Name: Lacquer
you weren't born in the summer
so your hair was softer than mine
and you were poised
cool calm and collected
you taught me not to worry
about my fiction life
and you were right
but this was wrong
and i knew it all along
you can't wash away
what's cast inside the plaster
or underneath the lacquer

cuz it's been engrained in me
since I was just fifteen that most things
go away after a good night's sleep
but baby that's not true
not with me and you

I wasn't born in the winter
that's why my hair is always dry
and I'm not big on submission
but I've got 20/20 vision
that's how I caught you
scoping out my thighs
from across the room
that's when I knew we were doomed
now your pretty boy arms and your charm
are fogging up all I do
and I swore that I would finally move on
from unrequited love songs
but I was wrong

what would you do
with a guilty conscience
and a new pair of shoes
would you acknowledge a flea
with an elephant's memory
in the name of mysteries unsolved
I bet you regret getting involved
Track Name: Magenta Arboretum
it's embarrassing the way you look at me
with the cuts on my hand
with the gap in my teeth
and it's exhausting
how I harp on these things
I should probably move on
but I'm busy

and sometimes
you just don't have the time

do you ever think
about the difference between
your life as it stands
and your memories
or what's different between
magenta and pink
yeah they share the same hue
but they're unique

10:04 PM
low tide on the salt marsh again
I know it's crass
but the smell reminds me of you
and riding bikes in the arboretum
your vegetarian freedom
and the way your hair
faded how you liked every time
Track Name: Roadkill
how long do you stare at roadkill
and how quickly do you turn the wheel
how long 'til you hit the water
how long 'til you kiss your father
I'll barely sing

I don't want to throw up now
no not on the way down, down
I'll barely sing yeah

I'm no longer someone who speaks
Track Name: I Scream at You When You're Not in the Room
baby boy trench knife
are you free tonight
mind the hex
I'll do you right
I'll buy you cigarettes

I know you ache for me
and I know how hard that can be
but right now I'm in two minds
I can't distinguish between
the love I need
and what's easy

baby boy trench knife
are you free tonight
mind the hex
I'll do you right
buy you cigarettes
and sprite

I think the difference between
our definitions for fatigue
is evidence can't you see
that you and I could never
you and I would never be
I just sought simple relief
and saw your icon was green
looking two miles away
I won't regret it tomorrow
cuz I'm already past it today
Track Name: The Big Stairs
I went to type your name in my phone
well it's a goddamn shame
but I don't recognize it anymore
and honestly I'm relieved
cuz I'm still the king of
skirting all basic human needs
I'm still the queen of
watching the throne

I should have left you
where you were
before my brain split in two
I should have left you
beyond the big stairs
where you can fake it
and no one cares
beyond the big stairs
I should have left you
but that's not
what I was supposed to do

I learned my lesson it's true
I learned my lesson with you
you showed me what I would do
cuz I told you once I was powerful
showed you the real me
I am unstoppable
and when you finally came around
it wasn't mutual
I can't apologize for life at the top

if you dropped a quill
into a giant spill
from the top of the stairs
would you choose empathy
or apathy